“No matter where you are, you're always a bit on your own, always an outsider.”
― Banana Yoshimoto, Goodbye Tsugumi
Let me begin this blog with a pessimistic post. Things can only go up from here.
I’ve lived abroad for just over two years now. It has
been an incredible, eye-opening experience and I love exploring new places. However,
I tend to find myself feeling homesick more often than I’d like. I should be
past that point in my journey, but I feel like I’m a perpetual newcomer. Even though this has become my home, but I can’t help but feel like a stranger sometimes.
So, I sat down and tried to figure out exactly why I feel this way, and I think
I’ve come up with some solutions:
My past feels inaccessible
Most people have childhood friends. They are people with which you share a
vast expanse of common ground. You attended the same schools, had the same
friends, grew up in the same place and probably dated the same people. It’s a
bond that you never really forage with friends that you make when you’re an
adult.
I’ve made friends (and they’re all wonderful people), but it does feel
like I'm starting all over again. I'm sure I'd feel just a little more at home if I could reminisce about school (Mr. D'Souza was so dreamy), mutual friends (oh my god, guess who is a male escort now) and romantic mistakes (I can't believe we both dated that jerk) with an old friend over a bottle of wine on occasion.
‘You had to be there’ moments
I’d like to think I was worldly before I left Canada, but the more time I spend
here, the more I realize how naïve I was. It’s one thing to keep up with
international affairs from overseas, but it’s another to experience them while
you’re living in the country.
I couldn’t take part in any sort of intelligent debate when Margaret Thatcher
died, because I didn’t live through her administration and I didn’t experience
any of the aftermath. I haven’t
experienced all of the ups and downs of the NHS. I don’t get the appeal of
Rachel Riley, and I actually like Jamie Oliver. I can complain about the cost of living and taxes like a pro, though.
I'll never really grasp the slang
And, not in the same way as not knowing what ‘twerking’ is because you’re
older than 21. It’s never really knowing how to answer when you’re greeted with
‘all right?’ or having everyone in the room coo over you when you use the term ‘bollocking’.
I can’t imagine how difficult it is for people who move to a country in which
the official language is different from their native tongue. Speaking the
language and understanding its nuances are completely different, and it must
take years (if ever) to get it right.
But, that’s just me
There are some people that can move abroad and truly make it their new
home. I know a few, and I’m incredibly jealous. You can certainly embrace these
follies, and they will make living abroad even more of an adventure. Unfortunately,
I often fail to distinguish between ‘adventure’ and ‘inconvenience’. I'm sure it will just take some more time.
